C’mon out TONIGHT for your first roll at the new venue, $2 Bud and Bud Light, $3 Stella and LongHammer IPA, and $1 off food for every skeeballer!
Also, make sure you register tonight! 3 folks will be drawn out of the registered names to get free skee all skeeson long!
See everyone tonight! 7pm! Let’s paint the town Blonde!
The new season of Real World has started airing. It’s in Cancun….and I am disappointed thus far. Highly disappointed. But of course I’m still going to watch it, if only because the guy CJ kinda reminds me of Mr. Burgundy from Raleigh. Kinda.
With Real World no longer in the #1 spot, the voices in my head started voting on new shows for the summer. And the decision was unanimous! America’s Got Talent!
I kid you not. I watched it on DVR the other day, and any show that can make me laugh, cringe, cry, get goosebumps, and give a standing ovation to the television in the middle of the Skeeball Headquarters in the middle of the work day gets my vote! The only downfall is Nick Cannon. God I can’t stand that dude. He ranks just below Nicholas Cage on my “celebrities I despise most” list. Now that I think about it, maybe I just have a personal disdain for dudes named Nick. (Watch out, Giaimo!) Probably not though, these two guys suck big time and just happen to be named Nick.
Anyways, my two favorite clips from the last America’s Got Talent (jump to the 1:26 mark)
If that last clip didn’t give you boosebumps, make you cry, stand up and cheer, or any combination therein, you are officially either heartless or a robot.
That is all.
To quote the ever clever Michelle Kemp, “Charlotte Skeeball just got a little bit ditzy but a lot more fun!”
Truer words have never been spoken. With the unfortunate closing of Murphy’s Tavern, Charlotte Skeeball interviewed several different venues before finally deciding on Hef’s Bar and Blonde Lounge!
“We’re very excited to be hosting the league! We’ve heard a lot about this skeeball crowd, so we’re looking forward to watching them first-hand and becoming the official home of The Charlotte Skeeball League!” said Mike Heafner, owner of Hef’s and Blonde.
The league will have two chances to register for Skeeson X and to get in some Free Skee practice on Wed, July 1 and Wed, July 8 beginning at 7:00. The league will officially kick off Week 1 action on Wed, July 15th.
So get your rolling arms loosened up and c’mon out tomorrow night (wednesday, July 1st) for some Free Skee and to sign yourself up for Skeeson X ! The draft, the money ball, new venue, great specials….it’s going to be a very historic skeeson!
See everyone tomorrow night! 7:00 – ?
So I’ve been doing this skeeball thing for over three years now. When I first started I would spend hours scouring the web for anything skeeball related. During my research, I came across two photos that haunted me for two very different reasons:
I couldn’t find a larger version of this, but it says “If your parents really loved you…they’d let you roll your own skee ball.” Cute. But look at this kid….wtf. He looks more evil than that stupid red-haired freak from Problem Child. This pic has been haunting me for a long time now. I’m afraid I’ll run into this kid (or worse – the grown-up version of this kid) in the street some day and he’ll just start chucking skee balls at me. Scary indeed.
Here’s why this pic haunts me, since you asked: a) he looks almost exactly like I did at age 4. That’s a true story. b) I could never find any back story on this pic…..until recently.
This picture was included with an article entitled “Winning Sand Sculptures” in Disney’s FamilyFun Magazine:
Sculptors: The Keisers–Kip, Sue, Todd, age 15, and Erik, age 11
Location: Stone Harbor, New Jersey
No one remembers exactly when it was that the Keisers built their first beachfront Skee-Ball machine–the family has been vacationing on the South Jersey shore for thirty years. But once they did, there was no going back to inert old sand castles. A long-time favorite of boardwalk arcades, the machine apparently keeps its addictive appeal even when rendered from sand. Now if only the Keisers could figure out a way to get it to dispense those prize tickets.
So ever since coming across this I’ve decided that I too wanted to build a skeeball machine out of sand one day. I figured there’d be no better time than the Farrell Family Beach Week down at Holden Beach. So when I woke up the other day and saw that Google had made their home page a sand sculpture, I knew it was a sign.
So I set out to conquer the beach with some helping hands (both little and big!)
I had conjured up images of a real life-size skeeball machine. 10′ long by 3′ wide, by 7.5″ tall. About 20 minutes into the project, I realized this would not be happening….at least not on this attempt. So we spent about an hour or so working on a little skeeball lane. And I think for a first attempt, it turned out pretty well:
I meet a lot of people who resemble famous people. For the most part I keep the comments and comparisons to myself. (One time I did tell Ian he looked like Adam Lambert minus the eye shadow….for the record, that did not go over well. ) But this guy was just too much of a dead ringer. So much so that I didn’t even go talk to him while he was there because I was certain that something along the lines of “what’s it like being McLovin’s older brother?” would have come out of my mouth.
So whaddya think? Did McLovin make a sly appearance at Raleigh’s Super Saturday or is this an imposter?
As you can see, there were some major upsets again this skeeson. Two rookie squads made quite the splash as their teams made it to the Final Four and an appearance on Super Saturday!
#12 I’ma Jump On You Like a SpiderMonkskee upset both the #5 seed and the #4 seed on their way to the Final Four, where they met their ultimate demise in the #1 team Skeet Shooters.
The #6 team, Skeetarded, also created quite the buzz as they upset the defending champions The Tim Skeebows in the second round. However, they didn’t bring the same fire and energy on Super Saturday and lost to the #2 squad Margaskeeta Man.
In the championship match, it was #1 Skeet Shooters vs. #2 Margaskeeta Man. These two teams had just faced off in Week 8 and Skeet Shooters had laid the smack down, winning 908 – 880. Everyone expected similar results in this match – Ray and Duke were usually good for a 320 and Alexis had been stepping up her game every week.
But Margaskeeta Man had one thing on their side — experience. They’d come into the playoffs ranked #1 in Skeeson I, only to lose in the first round to the #8 seed. They knew the agony of major defeat and the bitter taste of losing in the playoffs. And they were not going to let that happen again. They came out of the gates rolling well and were ahead after the first frame. After the second frame, they still had the lead and never looked back after that…leading the entire remainder of the match.
Margaskeeta Man = Skeeson II Champs!
Congrats to Matt, Desiree, and Brian on a great finish to an amazing skeeson!!!
Duke put on quite an impressive show in the High Roller’s Tourney as he conquered many an admirable opponent along the way, eventually finding himself in the finals against his skeemate Ray. But even Ray couldn’t stop the powerful steam engine they call El Duke!
In Round 1, Duke rolled a 340 to take the first game. 1-0, Duke.
In Round 2, they both tied with a 290. That’s a wash. Still 1-0, Duke.
In Round 3, Ray pulled off the victory with a 340. All tied up, 1-1.
In Round 4, we had camera issues, but Duke pulled off the win.
Heading into Round 5, Ray needed a win to stay alive or Duke would win it all. Ray was up first…
And now Duke….
Congrats to Duke — The Skeeson II High Roller!!!
THE HIGH ROLLERS REPORT
Written by: Anonymous
What’s up everybody! Farrell asked me to write the report this season and I am pumped! I’m even more pumped that my identity is protected by an iron-clad handshake from B Feezy…which means I can tear some of you suckers to shreds and not worry about any repercussions. Perfect! So grab onto your high chair, because it’s game time!
[Editor’s note: It’s “skeeson” holmes. Skeeson. Not season. God I get tired of correcting that ish.]
#1 Mr. Burgundy vs. #16 Becca Ragans/Winner of Wild Card Tourney
We all know Brett is a good roller. There’s no questioning that. The thing to keep in mind here is that if the Wild Card Winner were to sneak past Becca, he/she will have played about 6 matches to get to that point whereas Brett would be coming in cold. That’s the X factor. However, I don’t think the Wild Card Winner beats Becca. And I don’t think Becca beats Brett. Burgundy moving on.
[Editor’s note: It all depends on Burgundy’s mood. I think the crowd will be behind Becca, and she just might pull it off if he can’t find the hundo he’s inevitably going to need.]
#8 Wendy “The Sniper” Stiles vs. #9 Danielle “Kush” Kushner
I’m not gonna lie – I think Wendy winning the whole thing last skeeson was a total fluke. And while I’m on the whole honesty kick, I think Danielle has fallen off since Skeeson I. I know Farrell is going to go apesh*t when he reads that, because he loves these two chicks, but it’s the truth. Regardless, this is still an awesome match-up for the first round. Wendy has too much pressure on her to defend the title, and Danielle has stuck around for almost every single late night tourney to sharpen her skills. I always give the win to the person that practices late night because they’ve been there when they needed a hundo with the last ball. I’m picking Danielle to win this in 3 games. But really, when a girl wins, don’t we all lose?
[Editor’s note: You’re an idiot.]
#5 CT Smith vs. #12 Wes Knapp
Wes is going to be loud and talk a bunch of sh*t and try to get in CT’s head. Plus he’ll be super hungover from Part I of his birthday bash weekend (by the way, thanks for inviting me ya d*ck!) Nothing Wes says or does will matter as CT will wipe the floor with him in two straight. It’s called practice kids, come and get ya some! CT moves on easily.
[Editor’s note: Wes invited me to his bash! But I gotta go with CT on this one too….]
#4 Ray Beaird vs. #13 Edward Finley
I don’t know this guy Edward that well, and I’ve watched Ray dominate the league (and almost win the tourney last season), so I’m going with him. Ray advances.
[Editor’s note: Hey weak sauce, way to do your research. Edward has been scorching the lanes. The rookie had two DNRs and still finished up in the Top 16. Everyone would love to see a second round CT vs. Ray matchup, but it ain’t happening. Edward is cool, calm, and collected….and I’m picking him to upset Ray. Holler! Also, skeeson not season. Step it up.]
#3 Brian Farrell vs. #14 Elizabeth Ross
They don’t call him “Choke-a-Cola” for no reason. He has yet to win a championship or a High Rollers Tourney and he’s been playing since the 60’s. I don’t see that streak changing this go around, however he does beat Elizabeth in the first round.
[Editor’s note: Cute.]
#6 WonderBoy vs. #11 Dawn Cocker
This is another great matchup. Dawn was born with the natural skee ability, while Ehren has been busting his tail to improve his game and find his 40. This is a tough call, but I don’t think WonderBoy can handle the pressure. Dawn advances in three games.
[Editor’s note: Wow. I have to disagree. I love Dawn, but WonderBoy has put in the hours – he’ll go far in this tourney.]
#7 Matt Miller vs. #10 Jeff “Panda” Cheng
This isn’t the most exciting matchup in the tourney, but it is just about dead equal. Both of these guys are good for a solid 340 and 350 whenever they want it. I’m picking Miller in overtime.
[Editor’s note: If Panda even shows up, he’ll still get stomped by my teammate. This isn’t tennis, Jeff. Bring the heat!]
#2 Duke DeVilling vs. #15 Desiree Miller
I like Desiree and all, but Duke lays the smack down and moves on in two straight games.
[Editor’s note: Hey, that’s my other teammate you’re talking about! That being said, I don’t really have a comment on this matchup….]
#1 Mr. Burgundy vs. #9 Danielle
This is where the tourney starts getting interesting. Everyone who makes it to the second round could absolutely win the tourney. And in this matchup little boy Brett goes down down down to the mighty Danielle! I’m calling it right now. Mr. Burgundy loses in the second round!
[Editor’s note: Wow. I like it. A little drama.]
#4 Ray Beaird vs. #5 CT Smith
This is like the Tyson vs. Holyfield of skeeball. Both of these guys are heavyweight hitters and if there were nine rounds, they’d go the distance. But there aren’t nine rounds, just three games. I’m picking Ray in a very close third game.
[Editor’s note: Well, I didn’t even have Ray going this far so I guess I’m picking CT.]
#3 Brian Farrell vs. #11 Dawn Cocker
Sir Choke-a-Cola survives this round as well….just barely beating Dawn.
[Editor’s note: Interesting.]
#2 Duke DeVilling vs. #7 Matt Miller
First Duke took out the wife, now he’s going after the hubby. He’s like a cold-blooded killer that can’t be stopped. Duke crushes Matt in two straight. The Millers head to their car for complimentary Margaritas.
[Editor’s note: Mmmmm…Margaritas sound pretty good right about now.]
#4 Ray Beaird vs. #9 Danielle Kushner
Ever seen a grown man cry? Well get the camera ready because Danielle dominates Ray in two straight. And then CT gets in his face and screams “What now b*tch!”
[Editor’s note: Does Danielle scare the sh*t out of anyone else or is it just me?]
#2 Duke DeVilling vs. #3 Brian Farrell
What’s that sound you hear? Ah yes, it’s B Farrell doing what B Farrell does best and choking. Duke continues his tear through the tourney and wins in two straight games.
[Editor’s note: Sigh.]
#2 Duke DeVilling vs. #9 Danielle Kushner
El Duke obviously came to play today and at this point he is completely unconscious. Even taunts from CT and the entire female population cheering against him don’t faze him. He continues his unbeaten streak and wins in three straight and claims the Skeeson II title as Best Roller in Raleigh!
(Heads up: this is the unedited version of “I’m on a boat”. If you have little kids around, or are at work, turn the volume down.)
So we all know I love this song. And I also thoroughly enjoy acapella music (for the most part), so naturally I think this is genius.
There’s only one problem: these kids aren’t on a boat. At the very least couldn’t they have borrowed a prop boat from the theater department? The whole time I was watching this I was like “No you’re not. No you’re not. Stop saying that. You’re not on a boat. No you’re not. You’re on a staircase in a dorm hallway.”
Also, they couldn’t have re-enacted the breakfast table part of the video? That’s by far my favorite part of the entire thing. “I’m taking Dave….and……T-Pain!”
So long story short, I like it but I don’t. Show ’em how it’s done, Andy….