NEW BEDFORD, Mass. — A Massachusetts man has been fined $500 after pleading guilty to assaulting a Chuck E. Cheese mascot. Authorities say 34-year-old Trahan Pires of Fairhaven ripped off the mascot’s head piece, then pointed a finger and yelled at the man wearing the mouse costume because he thought he had pinned his 11-year-old son against a video game. Pires and his family were at the children’s restaurant in Dartmouth in May for the boy’s birthday. Jessie Carvalho, the man in the mouse suit, told police he put his arms out to get through a crowd of children trying to knock him over and never grabbed anyone. A witness agreed with the 19-year-old Carvalho’s account. A judge fined Pires on Monday after rejecting the prosecution’s request for a six-month jail sentence.
Listen, I’ve been in my fair share of altercations and fisticuffs with this big hairy rat they call Chuck E. Cheese and I ain’t buying this guy’s story. I mean the best he could come up with was “Chuck E. pinned my kid against a game”? C’mon dude, I think we all know what happened here: Pops was slugging back a few beers and playing a few games of skeeball. He started betting some of his buddies on the games when all of a sudden Fatty Chuck E. accidentally bumped him mid-roll, sending his ball into the 10 and costing him $20. Pops lost his cool and went Matt Pratt on the big rat.
Well worth $500. End of story.