Rick Mahorn and SpongeBob have comparable A$$
So I’m drinking a couple Coors Lights, eating some granola bars, wondering if glass shards are still in my finger, watching Jack Baur sweat on some terrorists, and I realize sweat is f*cking scary. It spurts off his chin while he demands answers. Even to simple questions, I’d be terrible under this interrogation technique. “Jack I don’t know was the square root of four is, but I’m pretty sure Old Spice will give you a free stick of flowers and shame if you take the Old Spice Challenge.”
His whole sweat interrogation technique would add a whole other level to water boarding. Imagine sweat boarding. Especially, if you told them where the sweat came from. “Give me the answers, or I’m going to trick your brain into thinking you’re drowning in L’eau de Rick Mahorn.” That guy’s got more sweat glands between his butt cheeks than I have in my entire body. Getting boxed out by him must be like getting boxed out by Sponge Bob Square Pants, who if actually real would be an awesome source of Sweat Boarding sweat. “If you don’t give me the answers, I’m going to soak Songe Bob in a bucket of John Madden, and tickle your uvula the business end of his sweat pants.
That’s f*cking scary. But not as scary as this infection growing in my finger from that stupid piece of glass. I’m going to go look for some pliers and Neosporin, cause typing kind of hurts.